The SF Giants Need a MemoryTag Card

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The 2017 season will be one fans of the San Francisco Giants would like to forget but here’s a chance to show them how you feel by either expressing sympathy or hostile anger or guilt, and MemoryTag has a card to match any emotion.

The poor Giants, remembering what they used to be from Willie Mays on down and what they are today? Can you imagine what it’s like to be a player on the team and show up day after dreadful day and get paid millions of dollars to lose?

It’s best if you’re a Giants player if you don’t have a conscience.

The Giants have the third worst record in the Major Leagues and are on tap to set their own personal worst in franchise history. Nevertheless, fans are still coming out to the games. I can’t figure out if they’re die-hards or masochists.

First of all the Giants batters are operating like the wind power generating machines you see on hilltops off the freeway at nearby Fairfield—-a lot of swishing and no contact. I could yell down from the stands, “That piece of wood (bat) you’re holding there, the idea is to hit the little white ball with it!”

Or I could send the team a MemoryTag card that says, “I Suck!” (Cross out the I and write in “You Suck!”

https://memorytag.cards/collections/sorry

You could sum up the whole season based on the throw Giants outfielder Orlando Calixte made during a recent game against the Brewers when he rushed it and almost hit my mother-in-law sitting in the stands. I yelled at him and pointed, “A little higher Orlando, she’s up here!”

The MemoryTag card that reads, “Let’s just quit and hit the pole,” might have been appropriate.https://memorytag.cards/collections/daily-douche

And then there was Hunter Pence the Giants right fielder. In a comedy-of-errors loss to the Rockies a routine single bounced off Pence’s glove and headed for the wall as runners rounded the bases looking like they were on an escalator at Macy’s Department Store.

I yelled “Hunter, this is baseball, not hockey, you’re supposed to pick up the little white round thing and throw it to someone over there!” (Again I pointed).

Hunter after the game conceded, “I’ve got to make better plays out there.”

I’m going to write “Duh!” on it and send Hunter a MemoryTag card that says, “It’s Always a Good Time to Win.” https://memorytag.cards/collections/congratulations

The Giants as a team compiled an eye-popping .240 team batting average which means that their base running isn’t good either because there isn’t any. I could write on a MemoryTag card my own advice and send it to the team that could say something like, “Now, look guys! You see that little white thing that looks like a pillow placed on the ground about 90 feet to your right? You’re first supposed to hit the little white ball when that guy out there on the small hill throws it at you, then run over to that white pillow.

See? Other players do it. Why don’t you?”

Giants’ pitcher Matt Moore is having such a bad season it even has a nickname. They call it the “Matt Moore Morass.”

I could tell him “Matt, you see that guy kneeling with the metal cage on his face? That’s where you throw the ball Matt.”

Perhaps I should send the team a MemoryTag card that reads “I’d Rather Kill Myself” and then write in, “Than Watch You Guys Play Another Game.” https://memorytag.cards/collections/daily-douche

The Giants have a way about them of torturing you if you’re a fan kind of like teasing a dog with a stick. For example the team had a chance to set a franchise record with 17 games in a row without an error, not a single error (Brandon Belt dropped a ball and ended the streak). It’s like they can imitate at times a good team.

Then why is the team so bad?

BECAUSE NOBODY’S SCORING ANY RUNS and NOBODY CAN FIGURE OUT MORE WAYS TO LOSE SO IT DOESN’T MATTER!

A team like this can be encouraged or condemned it’s your choice.Let them know how you feel with a MemoryTag card. For example you could send them a Valentine’s Day Card and say, “I’ll be Your Valentine if You’ll just Win a Game Once in a While.”

Or how about a Get Well Card? This team is sick.

Maybe a Sympathy Card. You could offer the team your condolences and say, “Wait until next year.”

You could use guilt and shame like your mother used to use on you. Send the team a Thank You card thanking them for improving when they haven’t, which will place guilt on them if they don’t (you could also send them a Congratulations Card for a World Series they obviously will never make).

In this case guilt doesn’t suck.

MemoryTag cards have video capability. Using your smartphone you can record a video of yourself telling the team how much you resent; hate or laugh at their style of play, and place the video on the card.

Perhaps the best of all would be the card that says, “Sometimes Sh’t Just Doesn’t Go As Planned.” https://memorytag.cards/collections/sorry

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